Thursday, December 4, 2014

WHEN POLICEMAN BECAME COLLECTOR...

          This post becomes inevitable albeit my fearing the aftermath when mom and dad had read it. Also, I am fully aware of the consequences I might face if this becomes an issue.
          Till the early hours of today, I was one of those admirers of policemen, as I am a Tamilian who has witnessed the likes of Alex Pandian in Moondru Mugam, Raghavan in Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu and most importantly Duraisingam in Singam I & II. But, this incident changed my admiration into contempt. This is nothing different from what we have seen in movies and heard from neighbors and friends. But, this must be documented as I am the first to suffer (in my knowledge) in the circle of our school friends.
          It all started with us planning to go to beach. Frankly admitting, there’s no other place for outing except the Silver Beach and Krishnalaya Theatre. Asking more would require going to the nearby state, which is just 25 kilometers away. Yeah, we have Puducherry, where the fuels (both gasoline and liquor) are cheaper. Since we people are always content in enjoying the best out of our surroundings, our ultimate option was the beach.
          When four out of the five of our gang were ready, one guy stated that he had to go to the temple and insisted on going tomorrow. Alas, by then, we were set. So, it was me, Deepak and Venky starting from my home and Vicky from his. The happiness of going triples in a two – wheeler cannot be overshadowed by the luxury of an SUV.
          The beach is about 5 kms from my home and there is a small bridge after which the road gets divided. Just at that partition, there were a mob of policemen, who were apparently on ‘duty’. Sensing the peril, Deepak stopped the vehicle, Scooty Pep+ (The three of us had the feeling of ‘3Idiots’. Recollect Aamir, Madhavan and Sharman driving in a hurry for the examination). When I was about to get down, one of the hawk – eyed policeman signaled us come towards them. “We’re done. They’ll take us to task”, said Deepak and without my knowledge, my own mouth was uttering some filthy words, which were overflowing like Vishnu Sahasranamam or Suprabadham.
          When we went near the man who had called us, he gave out a cunning smile, which indicated, “Ah, there you are, my fellas. No escaping from me; do not try to be smart.” None of us had driving license or RC book or insurance or anything of that sort. We only had cash, for which they had stopped us. So we were sent to another man, clearly the senior officer, who enquired where we were coming from. Since Deepak drove the vehicle, he had to answer. Though he appeared calm and composed, I sensed he was fretting because he couldn’t remember the street name (Afterwards, he said that staying in hostel right from his higher secondary schooling had blanked his memory). Here is an important tip: When policeman are screwing you, be at your maximum confidence level. Else, they’ll take advantage of the situation.
          He decided that we were lying. He needed some concrete reason for collecting money from us apart from our having no license. Suddenly, Deepak’s face became bright and he uttered something, which only the police could understand. Later, I came to know that it was his street name, which was a combination of three names. The expected questions about our parents’ background weren’t shot at us and the briefing session was over. He asked 100 bucks from us. I had a 500 rupee note and some 10 and 20 rupee notes, amounting to 70. When I took that 70 rupees from my wallet, he noticed that big money and asked without hesitation, “Won’t you take out that 500?” His name itself was the Tamil word for time, or the common word for cash in English. Perhaps, the name was chosen right. I hailed that unknown person who should have named him. I blushed and demanded 30 from Venky.
          By that time, we were cursing our luck of not having proper documents related to a vehicle. But just then, this happened. The policemen blocked another vehicle, Passion +, and took away the key. Despite the owner showing all papers, they made him stand for a while. We understood that only the paper with Gandhi’s smile would help the commuters’ cause. After filling in the receipt, he asked Deepak to sign. Deepak, filled with mixed emotions of fear and relief, proudly gave his autograph. When we were done, we reached the beach on foot. Meanwhile, I checked out the receipt. There was no evidence that Rs.100 was received from us and to add to my ire, there was no mention of the number of the vehicle. For namesake, we had been given an invoice kind of thing to convert an illegal bribe into a legal fine.
          We then thought how Vicky would mock and make fun of us when he reaches there. Just then, it struck me that he must be informed regarding this honest officials. When I called him, he didn’t pick up. In the next five minutes, he met us, clearly upset. A flurry of bad words came out from his mouth too and we sensed the cause of it; he had been charged 200 bucks, since his was a Splendor +, with the same kind of bill detailing nothing except his name and the name of the vehicle.


            This badly affected us today in spite of our more than enough abusing that we didn’t have the mind to get drenched. The budget for the snacks was limited to just 20 bucks and we just returned trying to look as normal as possible, with hatred and scorn pumping inside our heart. The heat of the bhajjis made our heart and mind boiling, ready to explode. Had there been some innocent person not knowing Tamil, I would’ve gladly scolded him non – stop for some 20 or 30 minutes.
          What is the difference between these people and beggars? At least, beggars can be treated with dignity as they implore us; these nasty human beings demand money as if they are the rightful owners of it. I am not saying we were right. I agree we were totally impractical and absurd, yet what do you call these people collecting money even from the person who showed his papers perfectly?

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