Hi Cathie,
We do not send memos and warning letters to parents unless
we find their wards way beyond our diligent scrutiny and care. I know you are
pregnant and thought I shouldn’t be disturbing you at all. But the situation is
so much out of our hands. So I hope you take it in the right sense while
reading the following.
Home schools are meant to be fun and children in their
toddling age get to know each other even before they are into the real
kindergarten. The innocent friendships, the petty fights
and loud cries all happen here only. But your daughter has been involved in the
latter aspects more than the former ones.
Toddling is characteristic of her but even then unnecessary
running here and there on two hands and two legs disturbs the atmosphere of the
school. You know how kind we are. So if I am being forced to write this as a negative,
imagine the state of affairs your ward has created.
I do not want to sound offensive but her voice has become
too rigid. Her sounds make the other children scared, and when they run, she
follows them and bites them all over. A fight ensues after which there are
always nail marks on both parties. They just roll over each other and run out
of the campus making themselves and most of the surfaces muddy. You also know
that bathing her is different unless you are here, right?
Whenever food – she is particularly fond of crispy munchies
like chips and stuff – is taken out of the packet, or rather, whenever there is
the tiniest sound of the tear of a polythene bag, she comes out of nowhere,
screaming and waking the other kids up from their serene sleep. She doesn’t eat
the diluted food that is actually the prescribed food for a kid of her age. I
don’t know how you are going to manage with her health in the future.
And, please do understand that we cannot keep track of each
kid all the time. It has been almost 13 instances till now that she has been
brought into the school from the nearby houses. I don’t know if she runs or
walks or jumps or climbs but somehow she manages to create ruckus in the neighborhood
by eating snacks from there also without their knowledge.
There are also behavioral problems associated with her.
She rubs her skin in walls whenever she feels itchy, and this is a bit
awkward I guess. Considering all these, I request you to come and take your
daughter with you for quite some time before she becomes normal.
Thank You!
With Warmest Regards,
Leo
This
is a hypothetical letter written by a hypothetical caretaker of a hypothetical home
where kittens are being taken care of. During pregnancy periods, the cats do
not stay with kittens that are already born and go out somewhere for quite some
time before they return back just before a few days of delivery. Regarding
bathing, it will be really joyful to watch the mom cat licking and cleaning the
fur of her kitten; new-borns are not familiar with cleaning themselves. And if
you have noticed, cats often fight rolling over each other, giving awkward
noises in the process, and the end result would be as mentioned earlier; this
happens even among siblings. The snacks incidents were reminiscent of the pranks
our kitten did. The itching issue is very common in almost all cats.
I
bet you enjoy reading this again and again, especially if you have a cat at
home. Notice the names of the sender and receiver, too.
This
style of writing has become cliché now in my blog but I just love writing these
kinds of things. Suddenly, this genre seems interesting. Following up are some
pictures of our household cats.
