AN ODE TO A SOUL

          I won’t start with a hi or hello. This is for you, my friend. I won’t mention your name because that word doesn’t matter now. In fact, it didn’t mean much even when you were in your bodily form. But, I just want to ask you a question. “How can you leave me here and go somewhere, bastard?” People say you are dead. I don’t know. In fact, I can’t understand. Death means you are not here in this world. If it is true, how will I be sitting here typing this for you? Pat me now. Give me a thumbs up so I can continue.

          How ironic it is, indeed! What you said to me some time back has really happened. “I don’t know when we will get to see each other again. Anna University and affiliated college people have varying holidays.” I won’t cry, don’t worry. That’s how you wanted me to be. Ever – smiling… Jubilant… Ecstatic... I don’t know why my eyes get weary. Eye defect; maybe. I am a human being; of course. Or, are you really not around? I am confused. I mean, is that it? You are gone, eh? No. No. Nooo. How can that ever happen? Sometimes, this engineering mind tends to think crooked. So, you are somewhere here only. You should be. Else, how could I have gone to a treat at a posh hotel even after hearing you are gone? How could I have survived almost 50 hours? Don’t leave me like this. I feel like a boot without a pair. How much ever costly it can be, it doesn’t make sense. Come on, dude. Don’t try to play this game with me.

          People say I behave differently. Yeah, I agree. You wanted me to be different. But, this difference has another implication. My friends say these are bound to happen. I would have to walk alone in the sands of time with nobody near me some day. ‘Some day’ doesn’t mean this day, right? Is 19 the age to leave your body here? Hey, don’t create unnecessary waste here by leaving the flesh empty and futile. There are already enough garbage in the Earth. You were against pollution. So, how do you think the burning of your skin would never become a cause for it? At least now, come back. Fill in that 165 cm physique with your soul.

          So, you still don’t want to reveal yourself and come, face me. Don’t hide, you coward. I want to kick and beat you up severely for scaring me. Some darkness seems to surround me. Oh, that’s because of the shadow of the mountain. I run farther. The darkness comes with me, embraces and grips me. You don’t want your friend to be tormented, nah? You want me to be fine and rocking. So, why the hell do you delay? Come now.

          I don’t wish to enter into the waves of the beach the next time without you. Don’t dry up just like the splashes of water droplets in the body after coming out of the tides.

                   “Each second and minute goes by, on and on….

                    But, I don’t think you’re gone;

                   In search of you, my buddy, for that day

                   When you and me can join hands and play.”

          Allow me to sleep, pal. I need some rest. I am exhausted. Don’t disturb me always. I am selfish, at times. On one side, my rationalistic mind says, “Alas, you didn’t even see his final remains.” I reply, “Why should I? Nothing is final. He is bluffing. He loved to play hide and seek, fucker. Without knowing the seriousness, he is just kidding.”

          Don’t fail me. Come back. There are still movies to be watched, places to be toured, girls to be flirted with, matches to be watched, peaks to be reached. If you can’t accompany me in any of these, at least, make me believe that nothing happened two days back. You didn’t overspeed at the turning. You didn’t ram against the barricade. You didn’t fall off your vehicle. The lorry didn’t crush you…….

                   “Solitude and sorrow fill me to the core,

                    And, I find it hard to keep myself on track;

                   Treading the coarse sands of the shore,

                   I believe you will soon be back.”