Wednesday, June 3, 2015

PUMP YOUR FISTS AND BE YOURSELF!!

          Was eating at a hotel recently at a far off place from my hometown. Mom and dad were giving constant instructions on how to eat and what not to order at the table because we were dining with a hi-fi family, relative to our friends. I have the habit of pouring the entire sambhar and chutney into the plate before starting. But that was not to happen on that particular day. I didn’t protest because that would’ve created a scene there. But, this raises a fundamental question. Why do we lose our originality in the name of social conduct and congeniality?
          I see my college mates saying, “Macha.. Chennai maadhiri varuma? Chancey illa… Enga oorum dhaan iruke??” I mean no offence but Chennai is a fucking developed city in terms of technology containing negligible quantity of humanity and helping tendency. If one starts telling Chennai is awesome, it becomes a disease. There may be posh five star hotels, luxurious malls and multiplexes in every street. But can you get at least ten successive homes with gardens at the backyard? Can you find someone who rents his cylinder for a neighbor at times of need though the giver may also have his own set of problems? (You know how many days it takes to book and get a cooking cylinder in the present scenario) Now, think of this deeply and answer. Is Chennai better than your hometown? So, always feel proud about your roots.
          Next thing is the movie scenario. I see people lamenting that Kollywood doesn’t get quality movies like English or Korea. My reply to this allegation in one word would be “ABSURD”. Firstly, we people have grown up seeing movies of our native languages right from birth. How does this sudden hatred come after getting into college or whatever? Watching 10 movies from Malayalam, Hindi and English and generalizing that they are better than Tamil cinema is insane. We get to watch only the filtered, good quality movies from the other languages because critics and media report on them continuously. Each and every language has movies without logic being released every now and then.
          I see, in my day – to – day surfing, people complaining nobody can come near Christopher Nolan or Steven Spielberg. It may or may not be true. But, we have our own tradition, a heritage that has been associated with us for ages. A movie is complete only when it touches upon the story of the location and people about which it speaks. For example, Aravaan depicted the life of Kalvaargal; Naan Kadavul illustrated the Aghoris. It all lies in our thought process. We’ve constantly been fed by our peers and mates that speaking highly of English movies would make us superior. I bet people who regard movies like Castaway and Schindler’s List and say that Hollywood is Heaven might not have watched Mahanadhi or Pithamagan  or Dhevarmagan. Be proud of our culture, our cinema. After all, whether you like it or not, we’ve been born in this land. At least, don’t degrade its pride.
          Coming to music, it is a universal language. Hearing heavy metal is not a sin but telling that you don’t hear Tamil music with a sarcastic smile is blasphemy. Many keep on mocking at the Carnatic music, making fun of the ghamakas and alapanas. To them, I ask a simple question. How did you start liking metal and rock? You started hearing, reheard the same genre several times until you really fell in love with it. So, let the same be the case with the classical also. Give priority to Aruna Sairam, Sanjay Subramaniam or at least Shankar Mahadevan  and Naresh Iyer before going towards Akon, Pitbull and Justin Bieber.
          If you feel like eating Thayir Vadai, don’t hesitate to do that even in a rich hotel. It’s your mouth, your digestive tract and your fucking choice. Never give a second thought to choose your first love. I may be writing in English, but my thought goes out for my native language. Whatever resume I fill, I always like to write Tamil first in the ‘Languages Known’ column.

          Be proud of your roots; let your body and mind get energized on the thought of being original and honest. And, do never fake your identity for anybody’ sake at any cost. For me, Thamizhan Endru Solladaa!! Thalai Nimirndhu Nilladaa!!

Monday, May 18, 2015

KP IS GONE???

(Disclaimer: This is just an imaginary spoof intended only for pun and fun. Don’t take it seriously. There is no political, social and national conflict of interest involved in this post)

          Kevin Pietersen, arguably one of the legends of English cricket, has been shown the way out by Andrew Strauss, the Director of the England Cricket Board, following which there have been elaborate talks on him playing for Sunrisers Hyderabad in IPL 2015. However, he hasn’t come to India owing to an injury. This is just a creativity of the various reactions in India had KP come here.

Narendra Modi: “This is the moment the whole of India can feel proud of. I have always been advising leaders all over the world to Make In India. Now that Kevin Pietersen’s career is evidently over in England, I would want him to Make His Career in India. Since the color of the SRH jersey almost resembles Saffron, he will perfectly fit in.”

Rahul Gandhi: “This is a welcome decision by Kevin Pietersen. After all, my mother, who has her roots in Italy, was ruling India indirectly through a puppet. If someone of foreign nationality can rise to rule India, there is no point arguing that an England player cannot represent India. I sincerely hope KP will wear Indian uniform soon.”

Director K. S. Ravikumar: “Don’t worry, Kevin! See my movies, Padayappa, Muthu and Lingaa. In all the three, the protagonist would be thrown away from his house after which he would transcend in life in no time. At last, the family would reunite with a positive ending. Take Thalaivar Rajnikanth as an example. If you want more inspiration, I am ready to direct a movie starring you. You can get the feel comfortably.”

T. Rajendar: “Dei, Kevin Pietersen-u,
                          Adichiye neraya run-u;
                          Adha paakalaye Strauss kannu,
                          Nalla vaanguniya bun-u!
                          Hey dandanakka; hey danakkunakka!!
                          Un career ippo done-u,
                           But venaam tension-u;
                          Life is full of fun-u,
                          Enjoy pannu my son-u!
                          Hey dandanakka; hey danakkunakka!!”

DMK Activists: “We strongly have a doubt that Kevin Pietersen may be a Dravidian by nature. First of all, his name ends with SUN, which is our party logo. Secondly, he is playing for Sunrisers, which is also owned by the Sun Network. All these create skepticism that he may be a Thamizhan. We are researching ancient Tamil literature to find out if there is any mention of the character Kevin, in any of the epics.”

Ravi Shastri: “Oh, there comes KP in a flight to Hyderabad like a Tracer Bullet!! This is really a stunning performance by him, probably one of the best strategies in the cricketing history!”
(P.S.: People who have heard his commentaries will understand this better)

Vijay TV Gopinath: The next episode in Neeyaa Naanaa would be on Kevin Pietersen. We would be discussing everything other than his exile from England cricket as it has become the tradition in most of our episodes. KP will be called in as the Chief Guest but he wouldn’t be allowed to express his opinions freely as I am the one who is going to speak most of the time. Tune in Vijay TV for latest updates on the date and time of the episode!

A Female Fan: Ooooo, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! I just want to spot him at least once. I’m glad that he has been turned down by the Australian Board (!!) [When mentioned that he is from England] Oh, is it? But still, I just wanna marry him!!
(The problem with some of the female fans (not all) is that they want to marry all handsome male cricketers, without even knowing from which team they are)

Kamalhassan: “I don’t say God isn’t there. But, the present condition of Kevin shows that God is not there, maybe. However, since his future with IPL is secure, I would say there is GOD. Finally, it all matters about Manidham (Humanity) and not Naathigam (Atheism) or Aathigam (Theism).”

A Normal CEGian: “What the fuck? KP is gone? How can that ever happen? Oh, how many good moments I had spent with my girlfriend with cold coffee and cheese sandwich! [When told KP is not the Knowledge Park in CEG campus but Kevin Pietersen of England, he scares me with his look] Who cares?”



{Note: I reiterate that this post has no connection with any political party. And, I am not a male chauvinist. The female fan part is included as a result of numerous girls (and ladies) showing boards, stating “
I want to marry you
”, followed by the name of some player}

Monday, May 11, 2015

WHEN FATE SMILES...

          He was standing at the edge of cliff. The whiff of cold air that blew chilled his bone marrow and straightened up his tiny hairs. The entire city was visible to him from there. “I want to capture this moment once and forever”, he said to himself. He hadn’t imagined he was that brave to take such a decision. Now, he stood there, with both his arms stretched out, breathing in heavily, cherishing the moments in his heart and soul. The hawks that flew made sounds that were too shrill.
          The city looked serene and beautiful in this view, totally concealing the pollution, industrialization, urbanization and many other –tions. The buildings seemed to be built like the staircases of a neatly carved out temple, with some skyscrapers tolling over other ordinary constructions. He was surprised to find umpteen mobile towers. “How the hell then is the network not fine at my place?”, thought he, as the day’s incidents flashed through his mind.
          The morning had started off in the most disastrous way possible. He had received a call from his office, stating he would be suspended indefinitely with immediate effect because a Facebook status, which he posted, ‘tarnished’ the image and reputation of the organization where he worked, according to the higher authorities. “Oh, gosh! Bloody people, even I love my firm. How can one FB post decide my future?” In desperation, he had just broken a beautiful frame gifted by his mom on his previous birthday.
          As if to multiply his sufferings, his girlfriend had called him. “I’m not interested in this anymore. What do you think you are? You either read, take photographs or blog. Or go to that shitty monotonous office. You are very grumpy seldom cheerful. You don’t even fascinate a girl. Go and have your nuptial with your blog posts.” And, he disconnected the line. When someone spoke shit about his blogs, he didn’t take it just like that. Writing, music and she were the triumvirs of his life. He couldn’t bear she had spoken those words. “Fuck off!” he yelled, and stood there transfixed. Suddenly, tears started flowing down his cheeks and he repeated, “What’s so wrong with me that don’t interest you, dear?
          Flurry of emotions raced through his body. He wanted a reservoir to share his feelings. Of course, moms are there. No matter if he was 22, she still fed him his favorite Stuffed Aloo Chapathi whenever he went home, she still called him ‘Child’; she still kissed and hugged him as if he was in his kindergarten. “The customer you are trying to reach is currently not reachable”, said the automated lady voice and he shouted, “Rot in the bogs, you bitch. Don’t you feel ashamed to speak to all the males around the world through phone?” And in an instant, there remained broken pieces of his mobile, one of his proudest possessions, with the components jutting out in an awkward fashion.
          In an impulse, he took the car key, dashed out of his rented apartment and drove away like a blitz. And now, standing on a steep slope that separated life and death, he wiped his tears and…..
          And, fixed his tripod there in order to take a photograph in the Hawk Eye View. Mom had said, “When you are at crossroads, call me. If I don’t pick up, do something that interests you.” Scared?? :P :P

Moral: When life presents you difficulties and hardships, Just Keep Calm and say, “Aahaan…”

Saturday, May 9, 2015

ஒரு மழைத்துளியின் பயணம்

Prelude: I am just happy to publish my first Tamil piece of my blog. This I wrote during my 11th standard rainy holidays. It is a fact that schools in Cuddalore get a separate vacation through torrential rains. Thanks mom for converting the paper - written article into the digital format.

இந்த வருட மழைக்காலத்தில் நான்கைந்து நாட்கள் மட்டுமே பள்ளி விடுமுறை விடப்பட்டபோதும் அந்த வருத்தமெல்லாம்(!) மழை பெய்யும் அழகான காட்சிகளை ரசிக்கும்போது பறந்து சென்றது. பலதரப்பட்ட மக்கள் மழையினால் பாதிக்கப்படுவார்கள் என்று அறிந்தும் எனது குழந்தை மனம் மேலும் மேலும் மழை வேண்டும் என்று இயற்கை அன்னையிடம் வேண்டி மன்றாடியது.
உண்மையிலேயே இயற்கையின் காட்சியமைப்பும், கொடையும் நினைந்து, வியந்து போற்றுதற்குரியது. சோவென்ற குரலுடன் பெய்யும் மழை; பின்னணி இசைக்கு இடி; ஒளியமைப்புக்கு மின்னல்; இவற்றுடன் நடனமிடும் மரங்களும், பறந்து அங்குமிங்கும் செல்லும் பறவைகளும்..... பார்க்கப் பார்க்க மனம் இவ்வுலக வாழ்வை விட்டு மெல்ல விலகிச் செல்வதை உணர முடிகிறது. சிறிது நேரம் மெய்ம்மறந்து பார்த்தால் ஓர் நடனக் காட்சியைக் கண்டு களித்த ஆனந்தம் மனதிலும் முகத்திலும் படர்கிறது.
பள்ளி விடுமுறையானாலும் படிப்பதற்கான பாடங்களுக்கொன்றும் குறைவில்லை. ஆனால், அமர்ந்து,கூர்ந்து படிப்பதற்கான எண்ணம் வரவேயில்லை. புத்தகத்தை மூடி வைத்துவிட்டு வெளியே வந்தேன். தோட்டத்தில் அணில்களும், குருவிகளும் பல்வேறு வகையான ஓசைகளுடன் விளையாடிக்கொண்டிருந்தன. ஒரு மூலையில் ஊற்று நீர் பிரவாகம் எடுத்துக்கொண்டிருந்தது. கருமேகங்கள் சூழ்ந்து நின்று முரசறைந்து கொண்டிருந்தன.
இவற்றையெல்லாம் மகிழ்ச்சியுடன் வைத்த கண் வாங்காமல் பார்த்துக்கொண்டிருந்த வேளையில் பார்வை தற்செயலாக துணிகள் காய வைக்கும் கொடியின் பக்கம் சென்றது. அக்கொடியின் மேல் முத்து முத்தாக நீர்த்துளிகள் பூத்திருந்தன. விளம்பரங்களிலும், விழாக்களிலும் மேடைகள் வண்ண விளக்குகளால் அலங்கரிக்கப்படுவதைப் போல நீர்த்திவலைகள் அழகாகப் படர்ந்திருந்தன. அங்குமிங்குமாக அல்லாமல் அவை முறையாக ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட இடைவெளியில் அடுக்கி வைக்கப்பட்டதைப் போல் தோற்றமளித்தன.
அதில் ஓர் நீர்த்துளி, கொடியின் விளிம்பில் ஒட்டியும் ஒட்டாமலும் கீழே தரையில் விழும் நிலையில் ஊசலாடிக்கொண்டிருந்தது. மலைப்பள்ளத்தாக்கில் விழ வேண்டிய நிலையில் கடைசி முயற்சியாக மனிதன் மெல்லிய மரக்கிளை ஒன்றைப் பிடித்துக்கொண்டு தொங்குவதைப்போல அத்துளி யாருடைய உதவியையோ எதிர்பார்ப்பது போலத் தளரும் பிடியுடன் கொடியோடு ஒட்டிக்கொண்டிருந்தது. எண்ணெய்யில் பொரித்த பூரி சிறிது சிறிதாக உப்பிப் பெரிதாகத் தோற்றமளிப்பதைப் போல அந்த நீர்த்துளி கொடியின் கீழ் ஏற்பட்ட காற்றழுத்தத்தால் உப்பியது. அதைப் பார்த்துக்கொண்டே இருந்தபோது வால்ட் விட்மன் இயற்றிய A Noiseless Patient Spider என்ற ஆங்கிலக் கவிதை ஒன்று நினைவுக்கு வந்தது. ஒரு மலைப் பள்ளத்தாக்கில் சிலந்தி ஒன்று வசிப்பிடத்தை அமைத்துக் கொள்வதற்காக இலக்கின்றி எல்லா இடங்களிலும் வலை பின்ன முயன்று கொண்டிருக்கும். அது போல மனித ஆன்மா தியானத்தில் இருக்கும்போது நற்சிந்தனைகள் எனும் வலையைப் பரப்பிக் கடவுளை அடைய முயற்சி செய்யும் என்று அழகாக விளக்கியிருப்பார். சிலந்தி, மனித மனம்  ஆகியவற்றைப் போலவே, அச்சிறிய மழைத்துளிக்கும் ஏதோ ஒரு தேடல் இருப்பதைப் போலவே நான் உணர்ந்தேன்.
அது கீழே விழுந்து விடாமல் இருப்பதற்காக உயிர்ப் பயத்துடன் கொடியைக் கெட்டியாகப் பிடித்துக் கொண்டிருப்பது போலவும், மறுபுறம் எப்படியேனும் மண்ணோடு மண்ணாகக் கலந்து இயற்கையுடன் ஒன்றிணைய வேண்டும் என்ற வேட்கையோடு எதிர்பார்ப்பதைப் போலவும் தோன்றியது. ஒரு குழப்பமான மன நிலையுடன் தீர்மானமாக முடிவுக்கு வர முடியாமல், இருதலைக் கொள்ளி எறும்பாகத் தத்தளித்துக் கொண்டிருந்த மழைத்துளியைப் பார்த்தபோது பரிதாபமகவும் இருந்த்து.
மற்ற எல்லா வேலைகளையும் விட்டுவிட்டு, அத்துளி கீழே விழுந்து விடக் கூடாது என்று தீடீரென வேண்டிக் கொள்ளத் தொடங்கினேன். அப்போது எதிர்பாராத விதமாக தென்னை மர ஓலைகளிலிருந்து விழுந்த மழை நீரில் ஒரு துளி, கொடியைப் பற்றியிருந்த துளியைக் கீழே தள்ளி விட்டு,அவ்விடத்தில் வந்து சொகுசாக அமர்ந்து கொண்ட்து..
   ஜூலியஸ் சீஸர் நாடகத்தில் ப்ரூட்டஸால் குத்தப்பட்ட சீஸர் அதிர்ச்சியில் உறைந்து நண்பன் துரோகியாக மாறியதை நினைத்துக் கொண்டே இறந்து விடுவது போல, தனது இடத்தை ஆக்கிரமித்துக் கொண்ட புதிய நீர்த்துளியின் செயலை எண்ணி, வெட்கி அந்நீர்த்துளி கீழே விழுந்து ஒரு நொடியில் மண்ணோடு மண்ணாகப் புதைந்தது.
       நெருக்கமான நண்பரோ உறவினரோ விட்டுப் பிரிந்ததைப் போன்ற ஏக்கத்துடன் உள்ளே சென்றேன்.

ETERNAL TURBULENCE

          Note: This happened during the start of my second semester. I had written it in paper and mom sent it to various magazines, in the hope of seeing her son's piece coming up. Perhaps, her love for me covered the fact that this one is not worth being published. So, here it is for the distinguished readers online.

          I was standing at the Saidapet bus stop with lots of hope to board a ‘good’ bus to Guindy (Well… ‘good’ refers to the bus with hot girls). My friend Kumar (name has been changed for the sake of anonymity) was becoming more and more restless. He was walking here and there with a tensed look and also seemed to be jumping up and down as if making some preparations for gymnastics in a spring – board. (Of course, I thought perhaps he had to answer nature’s call).

          “Giri, are you crazy? Another ten minutes and we’ll get fucked up in the crazy crowd. It’s peak time, dude. School children and office – goers would go mad even to hold on to a fully – loaded, jam – packed bus”, Kumar was yelling. I didn’t retaliate because I knew the mistake (of waiting there), or ‘blunder’, according to Kumar, was on my side.

          I had just got my books for my second semester from a book – bank, where the rent was far more than the original price of the books. “Choosing Mechanical Engineering has some other drawbacks like this apart from the lesser number of girls in the class, it seems”, I muttered to myself. I have to admit that I was cursing myself for asking Kumar to accompany me. He is a moron and turns his face to 180 degree whenever he spotted a hottie. But, I had no other option as there was not even one of my friends willing to come with me. Their hesitation was obvious because when some guy gets spotted in public with a bulk of books, girls believe him to be too nerdy and best try to avoid him.

          I was desperately waiting for ‘that one good bus’ to appear, when I just heard a voice behind me, “Thambi!”. I turned back to see a wrinkled, exhausted lady, who could, in any case, be easily above 70. Her eyes pleaded guilty for disturbing me. Although I stared deeply as if she had interrupted my mission of climbing Mt.Everest during the last leap, there was something that made me sympathize with her. “Ennamma?”, I enquired. I liked it very much to address elderly women with the motherly relationship.

          She said she had to return to Velacherry and was worried because of her night – blindness. She requested me to help her board the right bus, which she conveyed in due course of her stretched inspiration and expiration. I was in no mood to think about ‘cool chicks’ now. At once, I held her hands and sauntered in order to keep pace with her. I sensed there was something more than physical ailment in her.

          To get rid of her feeling tied and lonely, I asked with care and concern, “Unga kooda yaarum varalayamma?” (“Hasn’t anyone come with you, ma?”). At that instant, I didn’t know why, I heard my mom in mind – voice, “You stupid! You don’t know how to make conversations with elderly people.” Maybe, mom was right because the old woman had started weeping by then. “Sorry, extremely sorry”, I kept repeating to her. “No problem”, she said, wiping the tears with her sari. The next 120 seconds went in dumb silence. “Damn, fuck you, buddy”, I thought to myself, “You shouldn’t have asked her that.”

          It was then she started speaking up. “My son lives in Mumbai”, she said in Tamil and continued, “He is working in an MNC there. He chose his education, career and wife all by himself. His father died when he was a toddler.” At this juncture, she choked. It was evident she required some water. I bought her Kinley and she drank it earnestly. “It was I who brought him up sophisticated in spite of my being a coolie. I wanted him to become posh and rich. And..... And, that was where I had totally been absurd.”

          Again, she paused for a sob. I was seriously irritated. I don’t like people who take unnecessary breaks during the narration of a story. Mom knows it a lot. However, this was something real and saddening. So, I waited for her to go on. “My son graduated as a Mechanical Engineer from IIT – Madras two years back. He was the gold medalist then. I was on cloud nine as I imagined all my family’s burdens gone in an instant. Yes, it was all nice. He came to Chennai once in a month to take care of me. He built a new house for me at Velacherry with all luxuries. All was well until one day when he called me over phone and informed that he had married a North Indian girl. I wouldn’t have stopped him even if he had informed me earlier, would I? After all, I always wanted him to be happy.”

          I was shocked. I couldn’t bear that, really. I wished to console her, but my voice got stuck up somewhere between belly and vocal – chord. She continued, “Then, he never came back here. But, he sends money regularly. I never use it for myself and always donate it to some orphanage or temple. And, I am mulling about selling that house, too.” At this juncture, the required bus for her arrived at the stop. I was wondering whether she was left with some parts of the story or to ask her to board the bus. I didn’t want her to cry once again.

          “Amma, your bus has come”, I said in a soft voice, so as to sound serene. She boarded with the help of me and Kumar, and made herself comfortable in a window seat. She thanked me several times and finally said, “There’s no use of money, son. All this world needs is love, care and affection.” It seemed a hammer was being banged brutally on my skull several times, cursing my desire to get placed in some company, which paid me rich.


          I was brought back to reality by her rhetoric, “You are not an Engineer, right?” I suddenly turned pale and could not think of what and how to reply. “Tell me, son. Please do not say you study Engineering like my son.” A thunder rocked my cerebrum and collapsed all my nerves in the brain. “Er, well… Here, no, I, I…..”, I stammered and eventually managed, “I am doing my B.Com. I want to become an auditor.” She smiled in a contended manner, as the bus started moving. “God bless you, son”, she uttered, as I and Kumar stood there speechless, numb and aghast.

Friday, May 8, 2015

INIYA PIRANDHA NAAL NALVAAZHTHTHUKKAL!!!

         As I write this, my blog approaches the end of its first year (The site was born in May 2014, but the first post came up in June!). Robin Sharma mentions the art of thanksgiving as a virtue towards nirvana. So, I take this post as a medium to thank each and everyone who has been a part of this journey.
          First of all, I would answer some long standing questions from the readers of Whimsicality to the Core (WTTC). “Why do you actually write?” This was clearly an outcome of their annoyance and exasperation after going through my posts regularly. Frankly speaking, my reply is elementary. There is 66A for every Indian citizen (of course, it doesn’t work always. There are incidents where people got reprimanded, warned and eventually penalized. Guessing that person is left open – ended for the reader’s convenience) Further, if Udhayanidhi Stalin can dance, Chetan Bhagat can produce ‘classical bestsellers’ (and also get to judge Nach Baliye), Devi Sri Prasad can sing and Arnab Goswami can chair newshour debates, why shouldn’t I blog?
          I have received one – word feedbacks from friends, readers, non – readers, gossipers and other general people who also live. This would follow the alphabetical order: Atrocious, Blatant, Complaining, Dirty, Eccentric, Funny, Grumpy, Honest, Ireful, Jovial… and the list goes on. To make myself feel optimistic, I have highlighted the positive ones in Italics. This is similar to the names of the Android versions chronologically, eh? (Donut, Éclair, Froyo, Gingerbread, Honeycomb, Icecream Sandwich, Jellybean, Kitkat and Lollypop)
          Irrespective of all these, WTTC has made me what I am today. Open to challenges and new tasks, open to confront any situation (still, I tend to break down sometimes), daring to face anything, be it physical or psychological, and opine without hesitation. If this is called short temper, I am the angriest person in the Earth. If my honest posts have made me a ‘lunatic’, I don’t really care. After all, I don’t hide anything from anyone nowadays. Being very frank gives me good sleep. Be it proposing to a girl or pointing out the flaws in someone, I try to be very straight. If this is crazy, I am the most insane man in this world.
          Coming to my well wishers, I am grateful to Jai Karthik, whose blog inspired me. He is one person, who can kindle anyone to write merely on seeing the nuances in his posts. (I would advice my dear readers to visit this guy’s blog. http://rejuvenated-me.blogspot.in) What started as a timepass in my 9th grade in the form of a blog on cricket and got discontinued came to life again only because of him. Thank you very much, JK!
          Mom and dad… I can’t thank you enough for allowing me to right whatever I wished. And also for being the first readers of all my ‘articles’, irrespective of their being witty like Cyrus Broacha or shitty like Chetan Bhagat. (Note that both of them are CB. Popup: Cyrus Broacha is the man who does The Week That Wasn’t in CNN – IBN) I have been able to express some of my concealed truths and facts via WTTC to them. Equal to mom and dad comes Paavannan Sir, whose mindboggling fragmentation and analysis of my writings, wow me always. Inspite of his busy work and writing schedule, it’s a wonder that he takes time off for my sake.
          Praveen Sam Sir… My English Professor in the second semester, who wanted the students to learn rather than read. Raja… I should have been gifted to have him as my friend. His rare but invaluable suggestions have shaped me as a human being every now and then. Thanks, mate! Ranjith Anna, who encouraged my writing and showed me the various other possibilities that are available at CEG with respect to writing. Guna Anna, who always remains one of the active commentators of my blog.
          These are my first set of gurus, who paved the way for me to get acquainted to many people. If some 50 – 60 odd people are reading WTTC today, it is because of these people. I would remain indebted forever.
          I would also thank Prasath, whose inputs have helped a lot in many ways; Prathab and Pratheeb, the twins, who have been instrumental in checking me from speaking and writing filth directly; Vidya Madam, the staff who handled Environmental Science, and continues to comment in every post I publish ever since I gave her the link; Amarnath, who would make a critic very easily. His inferences and honest reviews are overwhelming; Dinesh, Anuj Raaj, Prithiv Gowtham, Prem Kumar, Dharunraj and Sankar Subramanian, who have never made me feel handicapped without a laptop at hostel. In fact, I should have used Anuj’s laptop ten times more than him and Dinesh’s almost equal to him; My roommate Iqbal, whose behavior has had unbelievable effect on me and WTTC. His spontaneous comedies and take – it – easy attitude have chiseled me accurately. Thanks da!
          My readers, starting from Khalith, Hariprakash, Imam, Mithilesh, Saravana, Druva Anna, Santosh Anna, Karthik Raja Anna, Mahesh, Harish Anna, Aravind, Jaffer, Sai Krishna, Sidharth, Srini, Srinath, Aadhil, Dinesh Mahankali, Arjun, Paventhan, Reuben Mathew, Anjali Akka, Kavitha Akka, Krishnamurthy, Shriram, P K Aravinth, Tharunya, Sai Vaishnavi, Monica, Ganesh Uncle, Arjun Anna, Srikanth Anna and many others. Sorry guys, if I have left (m)any. I express my sincere apologies. I would always remember you guys as the diamonds that made the crown called WTTC.


          With this, I conclude here by saying that the people mentioned here are the worst sinners of the planet, because they should have to stand my blog throughout their life. Ellam Vidhi Payan!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

CHEMPARUTHI - WHERE I BLOSSOMED...

When we were involved in a heated discussion to select the Electives for the fifth semester just some time back, it suddenly dawned upon me that half of my college life is about to get over in a matter of a fortnight (Mechanical Engineering has exhausted me to the core, so I don’t think I will be doing any PG), so here’s my account on my stay at the hostel during my first year.

Getting admitted in a college half way through a semester, according to me, would be the worst possible start ever to a course. It was a great relief for me personally to shift somehow from a prestigious institution in Coimbatore to my dream, CEG (There are people who opt for the place from where I came, or rather, fled. This is purely my opinion). This was through a process called FOC, which my mates confused with the Fundamentals Of Computing – one of the subjects in the first sem. Actually, FOC expands as Fifty percent Open quota Counselling. Explaining the criteria and inclusion of candidates for this process is beyond the context of this post.

After completing the formalities, it was time to get enrolled in a hostel. The man in-charge at the hostel office looked at me suspiciously as if I had escaped from a jail and was seeking temporary asylum at CEG. He then gave me three options. “You can take a room at the ground floor of J Block or one in the second floor of Chemparuthi or another in New Block. The choice is yours.” Apparently, these were the vacancies created due to the people who had kept engineering as their concubines temporarily till they met their true love - MEDICAL.
There was a bit of confusion. I slowed myself down and started thinking. On my way from the counselling hall to the hostel office, all the hostel blocks were incarnated in terms of flowers. Moreover, I reminisced one of my friends informing about him staying at a block named after some flower. And, that’s how I chose to enter CHEMPARUTHI!! I didn’t know then I would miss this hostel terribly after the mandatory shift to another block in the second year.

I was allotted Room No. 56. As dad accompanied me to help out arrange things in order (Ladies aren’t allowed inside. So, mom had to stay out), I was received by a pot – bellied, gigantic fellow, who introduced himself as IQBAL (I do not forget to thank the Almighty daily for introducing this guy). It was 2:00 P. M and most of the freshers had classes then. When enquired by dad, he stated very calmly, “Who cares to go to class daily, pa? It would suffice if one has 75% attendance. Never mind!” And, he was watching some intimate scenes in a hollywood movie. Something about that frank reply flattered me and I smiled secretly. On the flipside, fear gripped me because no dad would like this kind of first impression. Thankfully, my dad was not one among those and he gave a shy grin so as to remain neutral between admiring Iqbal’s guts and staying strict to me.

Due to this late admission, there were a lot of chores to be completed within a short span of time. Second internal assessments were commencing in a week and there was Agni, the intra – college culturals in between. (First internals had already been done with then) Lab experiments had to be completed and records signed. Adding to these painstaking works, I had to run from one extreme of the campus to the other for some petty stuff. It is worth noting here that CEG spans almost 220 acres. Due to these shortcomings, I was not able to interact with most of my first sem mates. Sadly, I miss this one particular aspect very badly because it hurts when you aren’t able to reciprocate someone’s greetings even after them mentioning that you were their batchmate (In the first sem, students from various departments mingle in several batches in order to facilitate communication breaking barriers).

Hostel was my reservoir of recreation after every excruciating day at labs and classes. Slowly, I got acquainted to the whole wing. Every room was meant for 4 people but that never happened. There would be just 2 people, or in the worst cases, none in a room, while another room would be brimming with 15 to 20 people. This metaphors the economic situation of India with wealth overflowing on a side and people begging for basic amenities on the other, eh?

Presence of all the four inmates of my room at the same time was a rare reality as VIKRAM would be omnipresent minus our room. The first semester went off in a whiz, with my roommates getting irritated very often on account of my switching the lights on at 6:30 A. M most of the time. Record works had to be completed!

In the second semester, there was the formation of this epic VMS (Varuthapadadha Maanavar Sangam), inspired by the Sivakarthikeyan – starrer, VVS. This made me closer to all friends of friends and we started enjoying each and every day. There would be games daily, with cards being the first preference. ASS was always the unequivocal choice and we targeted one guy routinely. Either the cards would be circulated in such a way that he got all the bullshit together or we made secret gestures to turn the tables on him.

Everyone had some distinguishable qualities that were worth imbibing. Iqbal was a cool guy, who stayed calm even during exams. He knew his limits and trusted his abilities. Marks never mattered even when he failed to score and he would just say serenely, “I did well. Let’s hope for the best in the next.”

Vikram was an inspiring guy who would do anything for his friends, no matter what the situation. He would gladly be at your side even on the day of examination, if you are ill. His mantra was and is, “Exams come and go; degrees and grades flow and pass; but, friendship stays.

Shivaprakash was one who lived the life of a hermit, a modern one with a mobile and nothing else. I was always blown by the way he spent time only with that tiny gadget, staying static even for half day. His needs were limited and basic. He didn’t require hotel food on the days when mess itinerary was too bad; he never complained about anything. All he needed was porn.

Aadhil was a miraculously gifted guy with extraordinary photographic memory. Iqbal, being my first friend, introduced me to Aadhil as ‘The Man Who Missed State Rank in the Boards By A Whisker’. He was my mentor throughout the first year, be it solving the most intricate problems of Maths – I or the Greek and Latin programs of C. Making a count of the number of languages and dialects that exist in the world would be trivial if one goes through his mobile, which would contain movies of all languages – mostly classical ones.

Santhosh a.k.a Sandy was the most matured man of this gang. He was the one who knew when to stop even the most intriguing game of cards so that we slept at least for some time in the nights. If every gang should require a perfect planner, we had Sandy. His equality in treating a newbie as well as the close friend in the same way was the one thing that brought me to my feet.

Bharath was the alter ego of Aadhil. This should have stemmed, perhaps, from the fact that they were from the same school.

Vignesh was the one who always made everyone ready for dinner sharp at 7. No matter what, inspite of repeatedly being mocked and criticized for this activity, he continued this penance throughout the year.

Ezhil was one drop of the prick of fate, as he was forced to put up here due to his low age, despite being academically eligible for a seat in medicine. If Vignesh was the alarm for food, this guy was the one for play and Mahabharatha. He would take extreme pain in waking Iqbal up, as fatso would lie there in his bed after a full meal. An, whenever Iqbal felt lazy or sleepy, he would scold dutifully, “Why do you always want me to call everyone? Share the responsibilities rather than thrusting them wholly upon me.” Ezhil was secretly envied by all of us because he, assured of a medical seat the next year, was enjoying life at CEG thoroughly, with no need of studying or writing records. It would not be an exaggeration if I mention him as the Pioneer of Mahabharatha in Chemparuthi. First, he started watching, which attracted Iqbal and shortly, there were flocks of people yearning for the next episode. Proxy server helped them to track back old episodes and progress with the yet-to-be-telecast Tamil episodes by viewing the Hindi version. The sincerity Ezhil showed to write Shri Rama Jayam before each and every action can never be forgotten. He would call everyone for playing and then suddenly disappear into his room. We would later learn that he was writing the holy words.

For me and Vikram, the major pastime would be observing Iqbal’s way of speaking keenly. He would often mispronounce a word or name someone mistakenly that would become the topic of laughter the whole day. In fact, I was maintaining a separate notebook with accounts of all the new linguistic innovations of Iqbal, which, Vikram would playfully mention, would soon become a new dictionary of contemporary English. However, Iqbal was always our stress- buster. When we were bored with cards, Iqbal would call customer care and speak relentlessly for half – an – hour, all the while enquiring stuff that didn’t concern a mobile service provider. It would start like this: “Hello… Nalla irukingala, Sir? Enna oru madhiri pesuringa? Customer-a kandukama vada saapudringala?” (Hello.. How are you, Sir? Why do you talk strangely? Has eating vada become so important than attending to a customer?) The course of this conversation (mostly a monologue) would range from menu cards in hotels to mega serials in television. We would be laughing uncontrollably, forming a circle around him. I realized the magnificence of his brilliance only after my trial at a customer care number. They immediately sensed that I was a prank caller and disconnected the line. I admire him for creating so much of fun around here without them knowing that they are belittled.

Balaji soon joined in. He was more of a daily working guy in the first semester but got used to CEG life soon after. He brought business game into our list and we started playing it endlessly. During second semester examinations, there were three – or four – day gap between two subjects and mostly, we would rush everything in the last day or two only. So, our obvious focus would be on Business. Iqbal was always the banker, exhibiting clairvoyance with clarity in announcing bonuses and rate slashes. Apparently, this was due to his managing their shop during holidays.

VMS always made it a point to celebrate birthdays of its members with sheer grandeur and atrocity. The manner in which a treasury was maintained to collect funds from all its members to buy cakes and other common necessities like cards, chessboards, cricket bats, et al. was astounding. Vikram, as the boss, would always preside over things and Sandy was always his right hand.

There were always hassles when Vikram’s dad gave him some dinner, mostly parathas. He is a Government Bus driver, whose route covers the proximity of Chidambaram to Chennai. He would always notify Vikram regarding his coming and stop in momentarily at the bus stop near the University to hand him the treasure. That short sentimental looks exchanged between a loving father and a longing son would easily well my eyes. Everyone would be bustling for their bite, which would almost end up in nobody having anything, with the floor taking up the lion’s share, courtesy the spill-outs.

I could never forget the T20 World Cup matches watched in the TV Hall of Chemparuthi. The abuses on the opponents when they took a slight edge in an encounter, the angry remarks on our own players when they failed to fulfil their responsibilities, the pre – match and post – match discussions about the weather forecast to what could have been done to reverse the results in favour and many more are etched in my heart. That sound of Deeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…. after each boundary scored and each wicket earned can never be forgotten.

One of the major highlights of Chemparuthi was that students could come in at any time illegally by climbing the corridors. There was a pipe outlet, which should have been constructed by a merciful human being, keeping in mind students’ thought process, because it served as the bridge between the ground and upper floors. This meant night shows were not a problem at all. The three movies (Endrendrum Punnagai, Biriyani and Dhoom 3)  I watched with my batchmates in a row on three nights were great fun, with us making a hell of a scene before boarding a cab, due to unavailability of buses late at night.

When Two States hit the screens, we were very eager to go to the theatre. But then, second semester exams were on and one of two balaadhkar kind of papers awaited. The night before English exam, Aadhil finally took the initiative for a night show along with me and Bharath. It was especially worthy (you know why) and I still remember going to the exam with insufficient sleep, in a kind of stupor, and writing Krish Malhotra and Ananya Swaminathan irrelevantly at many places.

It didn’t matter a great deal when we vacated the hostel after two semesters but now, as I sit here at my second year hostel and type the whole of this, demarcated by various departments and messes, something insinuates me and makes me yearn for a chance to stay there at that heaven for one more year with the same friends, same deck of cards, same customer care pranks and same friendship.

From a childish school-goer to a somewhat matured hosteller, from an eccentric nerd to an interactive fellow, from feeling homesick at hostel to feeling hostelsick at home, Chemparuthi has been my second home.

I MISS YOU, CHEMPARUTHI!! I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER!!!